Her shirt I take out of a zip lock bag.
The neck of it, oh how good it smells.
A little bit of her scent
A little bit of her throw up
A little bit of what I miss
I hold it to my chest
Close my eyes & picture her there with me
For that moment I can feel her
For that moment I have her back
For that moment I am happy
She is there with me, I smell her
You couldn't tell me any different
Because for that moment She's in my arms
My eyes open & that moment is gone
The tears race down my face
The silent screams I hear in my head
My moment is now gone
The anger sets in
I must hurry & put her shirt away
I don't want to lose the scent
I don't want to lose those moments
They're all I have, those moments
Moments when I sit with her things
& hold her in my arms
Those moments are not real
But they're all I have
Of course I wish I had more
I wish I had her
I wish this weren't real
But all I have are my moment
All I have is my pain, hurt, & memories
& my moments...
What will happen when i lose these moments?
I don't know so I hold on tight to my moments...
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ReplyDeleteI am so sorry for the loss of your lovely daughter Gisselle.
DeleteThe fading scent of my son is one of the hardest parts of the aftermath.
You are in my thoughts and prayers- although sometimes I do wonder if I am heard. I prayed for the safety of my children too almost everyday.
But if he is a loving father he can take our anger and sorrow. There's no need to hide it.
Thank u Katie, i am sorry for ur loss
ReplyDeleteAs soon as I read the words
ReplyDelete"Her shirt I take out of a zip lock bag.
The neck of it, oh how good it smells.
A little bit of her scent "
I said "oh God!" You get it. You get everything. i been trying to know how to deal with this. I lost my beloved son, my only son. My second child on 8/15. He was born on 8/12. I carried that boy for 10 months, 40wks, 3 days. I only got 3 days with him. My heart is burned through. I am dead inside. I will never be the same. But it's good to finally know someone out there knows what i feel, i am not alone. Thank you for your blog. Post more please...